I'm Considering Divorcing My Keyboard....Because That's Realistic and Totally Possible.

Brittany is FreshSupplies, Michelle is ChancefortheMoon.


ChancefortheMoon: http://www.punchanpie.net/cgi-bin/autokeenlite.cgi?date=20070525
ChancefortheMoon: See
ChancefortheMoon: that is you
FreshSupplies: Hahahahaha SHUT UP.
FreshSupplies: I mean no...I have done something eerily similar to that to my mom before.
FreshSupplies: haven't*
FreshSupplies: HAVEN'T*
FreshSupplies: DAMN
FreshSupplies: ::Headdesk::

We Argue In A Mature, Rational Fashion Because We Are Adults

ChancefortheMoon: Swing Vote
ChancefortheMoon: Opinion
ChancefortheMoon: Now
FreshSupplies: If someone other than Kevin Costner was starring in it, I might have considered seeing it.
ChancefortheMoon: Oh but the supporting cast is so good
ChancefortheMoon: Stanely Tucci, Kelsey Grammer, Nathan Lane
FreshSupplies: But they're supporting, Costner will get more attention and screen time.
FreshSupplies: Although the "If you met my mother you would understand" line is classic.
FreshSupplies: ...watching TDS I gather/
ChancefortheMoon: TDS?
FreshSupplies: Daily Show.
ChancefortheMoon: Don't you mean STDs?
ChancefortheMoon: Because you're a big whore?
FreshSupplies: The
FreshSupplies: Daily
FreshSupplies: Show
ChancefortheMoon: Sexually
ChancefortheMoon: Transmitted
ChancefortheMoon: Disease
FreshSupplies: I said TDS!
FreshSupplies: NOT STDs.
FreshSupplies: It's not my fault STDs are all you can think of!
FreshSupplies: You're perverted mind is not my fault!
ChancefortheMoon: I know you said TDS
ChancefortheMoon: That's why I said:
ChancefortheMoon: ChancefortheMoon (1:23:05 AM): Don't you mean STDs?
FreshSupplies: But i didn't mean STDs.
FreshSupplies: Which is why I answered you with "The Daily Show."
ChancefortheMoon: Not my fault you're too much of a moron to realize my joke
FreshSupplies: Well der, of course I realized it.
ChancefortheMoon: GAH YOU ARE SO FRUSTRATING
FreshSupplies: It just wasn't funny, because you're an unfunny whore.
ChancefortheMoon: JUST LAUGH ALREADY DAMMIT
FreshSupplies: NO
FreshSupplies: I REFUSE
ChancefortheMoon: ::KILLS::
ChancefortheMoon: DIE WHORE!
ChancefortheMoon: ::YOU DIE::
ChancefortheMoon: there
ChancefortheMoon: done
FreshSupplies: <---- IS IMMORTAL
FreshSupplies: So deal with it.
ChancefortheMoon: <-----IS THE SUN
ChancefortheMoon: BAH!
FreshSupplies: o.O
ChancefortheMoon: You 'splode now
ChancefortheMoon: oh and I'm watching TDS as well
FreshSupplies: ...
FreshSupplies: Bitch, that's all I wanted to know.
FreshSupplies: I hate you.

Michelle is Happy

ChancefortheMoon: Oh yeah
ChancefortheMoon: WHAT THE FUCK
ChancefortheMoon: Die
ChancefortheMoon: ugh
ChancefortheMoon: everything should be death
ChancefortheMoon: /end emo moment

Suicidal Tendencies Can Be Fun, Too!

Michelle is Chanceforthemoon.





ChancefortheMoon: I loathe myself
ChancefortheMoon: wooo

Little Bunny FooFoo Offers Spiritual Guidance

Brittany is FreshSupplies, Michelle is ChancefortheMoon



ChancefortheMoon: Oh
ChancefortheMoon: I didn't tell you
ChancefortheMoon: I'm think I'm converting
ChancefortheMoon: I might want to be a full Jew
ChancefortheMoon: I mean I still believe in magic and faeries and other Pagan things
ChancefortheMoon: But I am half Jewish and I've always loves the traditions
ChancefortheMoon: loved*
FreshSupplies: But do you believe everything they believe, is the big question.
ChancefortheMoon: And I've always felt like it's been a part of me that I never filly learned
ChancefortheMoon: Well I believe in God
ChancefortheMoon: I don't believe in Jesus
ChancefortheMoon: I mean I believe he existed
ChancefortheMoon: I just don't think he was the son of God
ChancefortheMoon: I'm going to talk to a Rabbit
ChancefortheMoon: ...
ChancefortheMoon: wow
ChancefortheMoon: Go ahead and laugh
ChancefortheMoon: I know you are
FreshSupplies: ...
FreshSupplies: ::Dies::
ChancefortheMoon: I think I'll bring some carrots
FreshSupplies: That's the usual offering, I suppose.
FreshSupplies: ...
FreshSupplies: ::Dies again::
FreshSupplies: You know that has to go in the blog.
ChancefortheMoon: I know
FreshSupplies: Good.

Double Homicide

Brittany is FrshSupplies, Michelle is ChancefortheMoon



ChancefortheMoon: what was the name of the guy who we thought was a Troll who spelled really terribly?
FreshSupplies: UUUUUGH
FreshSupplies: What the hell was his name...
FreshSupplies: D...
FreshSupplies: ....D....
FreshSupplies: ZACKDRAW
ChancefortheMoon: I'm asking Scott
FreshSupplies: HA!
ChancefortheMoon: ZACKDRAW
FreshSupplies: I'M AWESOME
FreshSupplies: <---- WIN
ChancefortheMoon: Yes you are
ChancefortheMoon: You get a cookie
FreshSupplies: Woo!
ChancefortheMoon: ::hands cookies::
FreshSupplies: ::Eats them like a pig::
FreshSupplies: =D
ChancefortheMoon: They have poison in them.
ChancefortheMoon: =D
FreshSupplies: ::Stabs you::
ChancefortheMoon: I win
ChancefortheMoon: You die
FreshSupplies: WE DIE TOGETHER
ChancefortheMoon: DAMMIT
FreshSupplies: BWAHAHAHAH!!!!!!
ChancefortheMoon: ::dies::
FreshSupplies: ::Keels over::
ChancefortheMoon: I hate you
FreshSupplies: I loathe every fiber of your being that I've never physically met.

OkCupid doesn't know shit.

Once again, Brittany is FreshSupplies, Michelle is ChancefortheMoon.


FreshSupplies: Oh yeah, the 'harder drugs' question is a fluke 'cause back then I didn't know you could select more than one answer that your ideal mate could give.
FreshSupplies: Or else I would've clicked both.
ChancefortheMoon: oooh
ChancefortheMoon: ...
ChancefortheMoon: I WAS JUST READING THAT ONE
ChancefortheMoon: AND PREPARING TO ASK YOU ABOUT IT
FreshSupplies: Hahahahaha
FreshSupplies: Fuck OkCupid, we're soulmates and we know it.
FreshSupplies: =P

Old Before the New Vol. 3

Brittany is FreshSupplies. Michelle is ChancefortheMoon.



ChancefortheMoon: DAMN YOU MILK!!
--------------------------
ChancefortheMoon: OOH OOH!
FreshSupplies: A backwards owl?
--------------------------
ChancefortheMoon: christ I have a mountain of eyes
ChancefortheMoon: fries*
--------------------------
ChancefortheMoon: We just unpacked the shower! Hop in, we're gonna fuck!
--------------------------
FreshSupplies: ORGASM IN THE MOUTH
ChancefortheMoon: Orgasm in the mouth?
FreshSupplies: The pie.
ChancefortheMoon: oooh
ChancefortheMoon: I was like 'I don't remember that part of the movie'
--------------------------
Chanceforthemoon: OH MY GOD, speaking of penises...
--------------------------
ChancefortheMoon: ::dies::
ChancefortheMoon: I NEED THIS
FreshSupplies: .....a snack?
FreshSupplies: ....a hug?
FreshSupplies: ....a severe beating?
FreshSupplies: ....a cure for herpes?
FreshSupplies: WHAT?
ChancefortheMoon: ...
ChancefortheMoon: just becuase that was amazing doesn't mean I have to like you
--------------------------
ChancefortheMoon: Cillian McMurphy + vampire = orgasmic death
FreshSupplies: Is he actually gonna play one or is that just a statement for me to agree with?
ChancefortheMoon: the latter
FreshSupplies: Oh.
FreshSupplies: Well then.
FreshSupplies: I agree.
--------------------------
Chanceforthemoon: You sound very much like a pimp at the moment.

Old Before the New Vol. 2

Brittany is FreshSupplies. Michelle is ChancefortheMoon.



FreshSupplies: I have gay guys making out right next to me.
FreshSupplies: What do I do?
ChancefortheMoon: Whisper in their ear "Stop thinking about my vagina."
------------------------------
FreshSupplies: So I was listening to Viva la Vida for the 3494594303rd time.
ChancefortheMoon: uh huh
FreshSupplies: And I realized that the a lot of the lyrics really remind me of Tony Stark.
ChancefortheMoon: Hello obsession
ChancefortheMoon: Nice to meet you again?
ChancefortheMoon: How long will you be staying in town?
FreshSupplies: ...
FreshSupplies: Just because that was brilliant....it doesn't mean I like you.
------------------------------
FreshSupplies: I think we're just stupid.
ChancefortheMoon: Woohoo!
ChancefortheMoon: The boy is almost off work!
FreshSupplies: HAHA
FreshSupplies: I thought that was a holler of joy for being stupid.
ChancefortheMoon: That too
ChancefortheMoon: HOORAY!!
FreshSupplies: ::Throws confetti::
ChancefortheMoon: ::eats it::
------------------------------
ChancefortheMoon: Your subconcious hates you as much as I hate you consciously
------------------------------
FreshSupplies: We are so playing strip drunk scrabble someday.
ChancefortheMoon: uh hell yeah
------------------------------
FreshSupplies: Ooooooo guess what I'm making.
ChancefortheMoon: pie
ChancefortheMoon: OOH OOH
ChancefortheMoon: HERPES
------------------------------
ChancefortheMoon: oh my god
ChancefortheMoon: Best moment ever
ChancefortheMoon: I got angry at Stephen because he's stupid
FreshSupplies: GREAT MOMENT
FreshSupplies: Tell that story at parties.
------------------------------
ChancefortheMoon: I didn't even tell you about the lolbob
ChancefortheMoon: lowbob*
FreshSupplies: blowjob*
ChancefortheMoon: no no
FreshSupplies: Oh.
ChancefortheMoon: lowbob
FreshSupplies: I just thought you were stupid.
------------------------------
Chanceforthemoon: Love is a breadstick
------------------------------
ChancefortheMoon: OH MY GOD
ChancefortheMoon: DOUBT
ChancefortheMoon: THEY ARE MAKING DOUBT
ChancefortheMoon: AND SHE'S SISTER ALOYSIUS
ChancefortheMoon: OH MY GOD
ChancefortheMoon: sdjfalk jfas;dfjka;fdkja ;sjdkf ajfkasjf a;
ChancefortheMoon: PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN AS FATHER FLYNN!!!
FreshSupplies: Holy...whoa....calm down!
ChancefortheMoon: AND AMY ADAMS AS SISTER JAMES!!!!
FreshSupplies: I know!!!
ChancefortheMoon: AAAAAH!!!!!
FreshSupplies: BREATHE
ChancefortheMoon: NO
ChancefortheMoon: DON'T
ChancefortheMoon: WANT
ChancefortheMoon: TO
ChancefortheMoon: ::faint::
------------------------------
ChancefortheMoon: YES YOU CAN
ChancefortheMoon: Positive thinking bitch
------------------------------
FreshSupplies: He's a man's man.
FreshSupplies: ...in a non-gay way.
------------------------------
ChancefortheMoon: HOLY ORAL BATMAN!
------------------------------
ChancefortheMoon: WHERE IS MY SUPERSUIT!?
ChancefortheMoon: SUPERSUITE*
ChancefortheMoon: ...
ChancefortheMoon: I had it right the first time
------------------------------
ChancefortheMoon: Sorry I was watching TV at the same time and my subconcious took over
ChancefortheMoon: I want to kill you
ChancefortheMoon: ...I mean seafood is interesting
------------------------------
Chanceforthemoon: I have asexual dilemma.
Chanceforthemoon: a sexual*
------------------------------
ChancefortheMoon: Wait
ChancefortheMoon: I'm not a sophomore nymore
ChancefortheMoon: ...
ChancefortheMoon: HOLY SHIT
ChancefortheMoon: I'm a Junior
ChancefortheMoon: I'm halfway done with college
ChancefortheMoon: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH
ChancefortheMoon: /end bi polar disorder
------------------------------
ChancefortheMoon: but has a weird one neck thing
FreshSupplies: He has a weird smile though
ChancefortheMoon: like his chin and his neck are connected
FreshSupplies: ...
FreshSupplies: HAHAHAHAHA
FreshSupplies: dklfgd;hg
FreshSupplies: Really?
ChancefortheMoon: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
------------------------------
ChancefortheMoon: ugh I feel like I have midgets comiting in my stomach
FreshSupplies: ...
ChancefortheMoon: vomiting*
ChancefortheMoon: damn typos
ChancefortheMoon: Now I sound like a whore
ChancefortheMoon: A disoriented, old whore
------------------------------
Chanceforthemoon: I'm taking a quick shower
FreshSupplies: 'Cause you're a dirty bitch.
ChancefortheMoon: well now I'm a clean one
------------------------------
ChancefortheMoon: She becomes a psychologist to concentration camp victims
ChancefortheMoon: wait that isn't funny
------------------------------

Old Before the New Vol 1.

I'll be posting the old stuff until it's up to date. It'll eventually get to where the postings are up to date with when we say it...if that makes any sense.
For the record: Brittany is FreshSupplies, Michelle is ChancefortheMoon. Yes, both are Sweeney Todd references. Deal with it. XD

Here we go:


ChancefortheMoon: do you think six bras is enough?
ChancefortheMoon: For Paris
FreshSupplies: How long are you gonna be there, again?
ChancefortheMoon: 8 days
ChancefortheMoon: I'm packing them for varities sake
ChancefortheMoon: I have my comfy bra (2), my push up bra, strappless bra, semi-comfortable slightly push bras (2)
ChancefortheMoon: I packed more bras than socks....
FreshSupplies: ....
ChancefortheMoon: Well I like to reuse my socks!!
ChancefortheMoon: ...until they smell
ChancefortheMoon: I mean I reuse my bras too
FreshSupplies: Me too.
ChancefortheMoon: but I think it's more important to have a variety of bras than socks
ChancefortheMoon: Socks you cannot see
ChancefortheMoon: Bras affect the boobies
FreshSupplies: This is true.
ChancefortheMoon: People see the boobies
ChancefortheMoon: erego bras are more important than socks
FreshSupplies: ::Applauds::
---------------------------------
ChancefortheMoon: HE'S DOING 700 HUNDRED SIT UPS A DAY
ChancefortheMoon: WHAT THE FUCK
FreshSupplies: ??!?!
FreshSupplies: WHo does that?!?!
ChancefortheMoon: MY BOYFRIEND
ChancefortheMoon: apparently
FreshSupplies: Can your boyfriend tell my boyfriend to do 700 push ups.
ChancefortheMoon: hahaha
FreshSupplies: It doesn't even have to happen in one day.
FreshSupplies: A year would be cool too.
--------------------------------
FreshSupplies: I love Bruce Willis.
FreshSupplies: ...just thought I'd throw that out there.
--------------------------------
ChancefortheMoon: Well I told him that when I came home I would help him "get his groove back"
FreshSupplies: Much like Stella.
ChancefortheMoon: that's why I said it
--------------------------------
ChancefortheMoon: WHAT IS IT ABOUT LONG SLEEVED SHIRTS?!!?
ChancefortheMoon: WHY DO MEN LOOK SO GOOD IN TIGHT LONG SLEEVES?!?!
FreshSupplies: I DON'T KNOW!!! WHY ARE WE YELLING?!?!?!
ChancefortheMoon: BECAUSE I'M HORNY
FreshSupplies: WELL DAMN WOMAN, I CAN'T HELP THAT
FreshSupplies: ...we both have boyfriends.
--------------------------------
ChancefortheMoon: I have to go to bed
FreshSupplies: Well blah.
FreshSupplies: Fine then, be human.
ChancefortheMoon: I has a midterm
FreshSupplies: You has a whore.
ChancefortheMoon: yeah I do
ChancefortheMoon: She's going to make me proud one day ::sniffle::
FreshSupplies: Hahahaha
FreshSupplies: Okay...I'll give you that one.
ChancefortheMoon: bahaha
ChancefortheMoon: My cleverness pays off once again
FreshSupplies: Bitch.
--------------------------------
ChancefortheMoon: Hullo
ChancefortheMoon: Ooh I know you're there!
ChancefortheMoon: You were typing!
ChancefortheMoon: YOU'RE TALKING TO SOMEONE ELSE AREN'T YOU?!
FreshSupplies: ::Sniffle:: I'm allowed to have other friends!
ChancefortheMoon: How could you!
ChancefortheMoon: How could you do this to me?!
ChancefortheMoon: AND OUR BABY
ChancefortheMoon: That's right! I'm pregnant!
ChancefortheMoon: But there's only one problem.
ChancefortheMoon: I don't know who I am!
ChancefortheMoon: /end soap opera
--------------------------------
ChancefortheMoon: hey
ChancefortheMoon: hey
ChancefortheMoon: hey
ChancefortheMoon: hey
ChancefortheMoon: hey
ChancefortheMoon: hey
ChancefortheMoon: hey
ChancefortheMoon: hey
ChancefortheMoon: hey
ChancefortheMoon: hey
FreshSupplies: Whaaaaaaaat
ChancefortheMoon: Hi!!!
ChancefortheMoon: :Runs away::
--------------------------------
FreshSupplies: Whoa, this dude speaks Arabic an French fluently.
FreshSupplies: Ha, he's 32.
FreshSupplies: ....and a well muscled black man.
ChancefortheMoon: haha
ChancefortheMoon: I like big butts and I cannot lie
FreshSupplies: Hahahaha
ChancefortheMoon: You other brothers can't deny
FreshSupplies: Shut UP.
ChancefortheMoon: when a girl walks in with that itty bitty waist
FreshSupplies: I don't care if that was brilliant, SHUT IT.
ChancefortheMoon: and that big round thing in your face
ChancefortheMoon: you get sprung!
ChancefortheMoon: /end brilliance
--------------------------------
FreshSupplies: Today was my first day back working out.
ChancefortheMoon: woohoo!
ChancefortheMoon: How did it go?
FreshSupplies: My plan is to go every other day, and if I'm really beat maybe skip a day, but not very often.
ChancefortheMoon: Well you aren't supposed to work out everyday
FreshSupplies: Hence the every other day.
ChancefortheMoon: If you are just starting it's three times a week
ChancefortheMoon: Then move it up to five times a day for 20 minutes
FreshSupplies: Who the crap has time for that?
ChancefortheMoon: You make the time
FreshSupplies: That would totally bog me down, and I'd have to shower a million times a day.
FreshSupplies: 'Cause I sweat like a fiend.
ChancefortheMoon: You're the one who wants to get in shape
ChancefortheMoon: If you want that this is what you have to do
FreshSupplies: I'll stick to working up to a full body workout in an hour, five times a week.
FreshSupplies: I don't need to be a goddess.
ChancefortheMoon: ...?
FreshSupplies: I would've said Adonis, but that's a guy.
ChancefortheMoon: When I said you have to work out 20 minutes five times a week you said that you couldn't do that
ChancefortheMoon: And yet you want to do an hour five times a week?
FreshSupplies: "ChancefortheMoon: Then move it up to five times a day for 20 minutes"
ChancefortheMoon: How the crap does that work?
FreshSupplies: DAY
FreshSupplies: You said day.
ChancefortheMoon: OOOOH
ChancefortheMoon: I meant week
FreshSupplies: BAHAHAHA
FreshSupplies: HAHAHA
FreshSupplies: You should've seen my face.
FreshSupplies: o.O ChancefortheMoon: Who the hell works out like that?!?!
FreshSupplies: THAT'S WHAT I SAID!!
FreshSupplies: That whoooooole thing is now in my profile.
FreshSupplies: You stupid bitch.
ChancefortheMoon: But whyyyy?
FreshSupplies: Because your stupidity is asmusingggggg.
FreshSupplies: ...
ChancefortheMoon: ...
FreshSupplies: Amusing*
ChancefortheMoon: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
FreshSupplies: SHUT UP
ChancefortheMoon: FAIL
FreshSupplies: SHUT
FreshSupplies: UP
FreshSupplies: DIE
ChancefortheMoon: fail fail fail fail fail
FreshSupplies: DIEEEEEEE
FreshSupplies: ::Sigh:: Now that has to go in my profile.
FreshSupplies: ::Shame::
--------------------------------

The Bitch Manifesto

I'm Brittany. I'm friends with Michelle. Thank the Sweeney Todd message board over at imdb.com for that. We talk just about everyday on AOL Instant Messenger, and just about everyday we say something funny. Me being the dork I am, I've been saving the funny bits for a while now in different places (my imdb profile, Facebook, places like that) and I always seem to run out of room. Michelle, being the celver bitch that she is, suggested that we start a blog to have a place to keep all of the funny shit we say. Maybe somebody else will read them and laugh...maybe not. Does it matter? Not really.
So here we are.
Enjoy.